Within our role as child, parent or family member, we all possess strengths, weaknesses and limitations, most of which are difficult or impossible to measure objectively.  Even so, it is one of the most common ways in which we describe and compare ourselves to others.

Often we perceive weaknesses and limitations as undesirable and deem them to be “problems”.  When we experience a weakness or limitation and the resulting discomfort we can choose to accept ownership and responsibility for them, leading eventually to need fulfillment, or we can manage them irresponsibly, leading to a negative impact on others and increased discomfort internally. 

Typically, this additional and unnecessary discomfort leads to a pattern of behavior that results in more “problems” which become habitual over time and strongly entrenched.  How we manage these problems is the key to forming and strengthening either constructive and beneficial or destructive and detrimental patterns of behavior.  Regardless of the origin or cause of these patterns of behavior, once we are aware of them we have a choice to either accept or reject ownership and either manage them responsibly or irresponsibly. 

At FIT, we believe that all problems are actually "challenges." These challenges require the development and implementation of skillful behavior to reduce and eventually eliminate any patterns of behavior that are detrimental to one's self and/or other people.

Some of the most common patterns of behavior that are challenges for children and parents within families are:

Poor Emotional ManagementApathy/Depression
Destructive Relational Dynamics Learning and Processing Difficulties
Poor Problem Solving & Decision Making Ineffective Communication skills
Manipulation and Deception Aggressive-Based Behavior
Oppositional & Defiant Behavior Unrealistic Ideals for Self
Obsession-Compulsion Unrealistic Expectations of Others
Excessive Guilt/Shame Laziness
Lack of Confidence in Ability Excessive Fear
Irresponsibility Excessive Independence or Dependence
Selfishness Substance Abuse

Regardless of age, ethnicity, background, personal experiences, education level, status, role or responsibility, we all face some form of adversity, some more severe than others. Whether these challenges originated from birth or through personal experiences, we all deserve the opportunity to critically think about their origin, and most importantly how to develop and maintain the best responses.